


and you're a liar (payphones)

by tydalwaves



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Album Based, Angst, Anxiety, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Smut, Freeform, Grief, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Loss, M/M, josh dun - Freeform, joshler - Freeform, the 1975, tyler joseph - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-21
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-21 08:04:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10681140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tydalwaves/pseuds/tydalwaves
Summary: in which tyler loses himself amongst ohio payphones and old polaroids, and josh tries desperately to find himself through someone else.





	1. 01. takes a bit more (part i)

**Author's Note:**

> please comment below/give kudos if you like it! this is just a short story that i might add a couple more chapters to if it gets a good reception c: 
> 
> the storyline is loosely based off the 1975's song, You. i suggest you listen to it before or after you read this, if you like. it's a nice song.
> 
> have an amazing day everyone! <3 once again please let me know what you think in the comments!

A baleful glare shot towards the photo.

Tyler’s brow furrowed at the sight of honey-brown eyes. Fingers grasped tightly at the smooth surfaced Polaroid, and he couldn’t tear his gaze away. Of course. It burnt his eyes to look straight at the sun, but if it blinded him it would have been worth it.

Sugary sweet boy, tongue poking coyly from between perfectly straight teeth. His hair fell aflutter across his stubbled face, sunflower yellow locks so joyful that bile tarred the back of Tyler’s throat.

A smile tossed itself casually to the right of the man’s face, but it was a smile that ran right up to the crinkles beside his eyes nonetheless. _That smile._

Tyler scooted to the edge of his bed a little, giving the floor a wary glance. His ribs felt as if they were heaving the weight of the world and he wasn’t quite sure if the contents of his stomach were going to make a warm reappearance.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he spat from between gritted teeth. Tyler’s spine coiled like an elastic band and if he didn’t compose himself, he was going to snap.

Still, photo-Joshua’s face radiated back at him. One of his strong arms had flung itself haphazardly around the bridge of Tyler’s broad shoulders. Tyler’s fingers splayed snugly around his best friend’s waist in a not-so-best-friend way, gripping the seams of that damn NASA shirt softly. The remnants of last winter’s rainfall were visible in spatters of dampness along their clothing, and Josh’s trademark shirt looked even darker than usual. Tyler struggled to remember how long he’d had that thing in the first place.

And he struggled to forget the night after that picture was taken.

Breath stuttering, Tyler let the photo float down from his loosened grip. He couldn’t breathe through the stones in his throat. He wished they’d crumble down into his lungs and suffocate him under the landslide.

_Shut your eyes._

_Wriggle your toes._

_Come on. Wriggle wriggle wriggle._

Flashbacks settled behind his eyelids. He remembered the time when he caught glandular fever as a kid, and the amount of blood tests they’d put him through. God, he still hated needles. He remembered eight year old Tyler whimpering through blurry tears and headaches as the nurse held his hand.

“Wriggle those toes, kiddo, you won’t feel a thing,” she said. “Wriggle your toes and I’ll wriggle mine,” as he felt the jab in his arm.

Tyler screamed anyway.

At least he didn’t faint like his nurse did at the sound of it.

So Tyler figured, _maybe if I wriggle enough, he’ll go away._

_Maybe if I wriggle my feet enough it’ll keep him off my mind._

Tyler cried anyway.


	2. 02. takes a bit more than you (part ii)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please forgive any spelling mistakes, grammar errors or lazy sentences, i haven't had the chance to sit down and fully edit this so feel free to call me out on anything. 
> 
> i'm going away for the next 5 days, monday through friday, so there'll be a slight delay in updates. don't worry though, by next week there should be another chapter awaiting you.
> 
> once again, any kudos, feedback and/or comments and encouraged and really appreciated! <3 have a nice day, everyone!

Streetlights cast a faint, white glow on the pathways Tyler walked as his legs carried him aimlessly through Columbus. He thumbed at the sleeves of his hoodie absently as he plowed through the evening rush hour. The thrum of friendly conversation and engines grumbling was enough to keep him moving, and as long as he was moving Tyler figured he’d be okay.

As he moved along the busy streets, he counted each block he put between himself and his urban apartment.

One. Looking down, he spied an old lady shuffling out of the coffee shop to his left.

_Didn’t think little old ladies would be drinking caffeine at five in the evening._

Not that Tyler could talk. He was still to kick the red-bull habit.

She nursed a latte in one withered hand. The other arm held the leads to a scruffy-looking bulldog, jagged teeth poking through a jowly lip. They bore an uncanny resemblance, moving with the same stiff gait, both greyed around their muzzles (and or hair). Tyler gave a watery smile as he passed.

Two. He dodged the next road, taking a sharp left down an arcade. Fairy lights twinkled in varying tempos as he glanced at the window to the spice-scented restaurant. He almost paused, stomach riling in anarchy against his feet as he kept on going. Couldn’t stop moving, he couldn’t stop walking until he felt some sort of release.

Three. And as he ventured out of the enclosed passage onto the next street, something caught his eye.

It wasn’t the same little old lady with the same old shuffle and the same old dog standing at the crosswalk.

It wasn’t how the sun had tinged pink and blurred around the edges as it made to set across the Ohio horizon.

It wasn’t even that he realized it was getting dark and that he ought to be heading home.

Set out against the deep black of his cotton hoodie, centered in the middle of his chest, was a single yellow hair.

He didn’t know how he saw it when there were so many sights to see in his hometown, nor did he realize he was wearing one of Josh’s old hoodies as he threw it over his head in leaving the house.

Tyler finally stopped.

A thirty-something year old woman hissed in disgruntlement as he paused in front of her. But he was so wrapped up, everything sounded like he was six feet under and he couldn’t breathe let alone hear, the damn jumper didn’t even smell like Josh anymore and god, how long could he go on like this?

He wanted to sob, to scream to the sky, to have some sort of emotional reaction to it all, even if it meant he broke down in the middle of the street. He just wanted to _release_ this all, to carve it out of his system until that man was nothing and no-one to him.

And yet, Tyler was empty.

So, he stumbled numbly across the same crosswalk as that little old lady, and plonked himself down on the nearest park bench. No tears, just fumbling legs and an elevated heartbeat. His fingers found the yellow lock, and with as much vigor as he could he brushed it away into the wind.

 It wasn’t much of a park, to be honest, only a mere quarter-mile stretch of dying grass and a few weakly growing oak trees. The sun bled into the hills and accentuated the silhouettes that skyscrapers cast across the winding roads and the cracked paths. It was a pretty desolate looking place, but it comforted Tyler in a way.

He craved comfort, had been craving it for a while now. He felt constantly homesick, even within his own town and his own room and at his local convenience store and just… everywhere. There was a pervasive thorn in his side, and no matter who he talked to or where he went or how hard he pushed, he couldn’t get it out.

After a few moments, his pulse had quelled to a distant, gentle thrum and the muscles in his legs were no longer mush. Orange skies ebbed into a brooding gray and the beginnings of stars freckled the night above. _Keep on breathing. It takes more than this to break you._

_It takes more than him._

If he could have his time again, it was the main thing that he wanted Josh to know. As unhappy as Tyler was, as quiet and as alien the world had become to him, he did not break. He was not a broken, hopeless case. Yet. Resentment broiled in the potholes of Tyler’s veins until he found himself gripping the sides of the bench a little too hard. The suddenness of it all _burnt._ His throat ached along with his white knuckles and he was hurting, god he was hurting. He still cared, so much, and yet not enough to admit it anyone else.

So, that sheer amount of feeling manifested into anger instead.

Eyes flickering downward, he noticed a shoddy dirt path that was etched into the rough lawn. And before he knew it, he was walking the trail. The occasional shrub loomed either side of him as he trudged, slightly perturbed by the growing darkness and the lack of light along with the distance from home. But he kept on going. He’d gotten this far, he figured.

Eventually, the path tempered out as washed out light appeared in the form of a streetlamp. Sitting absently beside it, was an old payphone. The sheltered sides were rusted and dented from what would have been years of wear and tear.

_Does it even still work?_

Tyler hadn’t seen one of them in a while. It wasn’t as if there were a shortage of Apple stores or mobile phones around, so when were payphones ever really required?

_When you need to call someone from an unknown number, so they don’t know it’s yo-_

_Oh._

He paused inside the phone box, picking nervously at the chipped red paint as connections were made, one after the other, in his head.

_I could do it. If I really wanted to._

Tyler still remembered that number.

He was just too afraid to call from his beaten-up 5s.

He didn’t want Josh to know he was the one calling.

He didn’t want him to know, after all this frickin’ time, that god, he still cared.

He didn’t want him to know how afraid he was. And yet, Tyler didn’t understand just _why_ he was so afraid, as he tentatively picked up the phone and began to dial. _I’ve already lost him. It’s not like I have anything more to lose._

The cable shook with Tyler’s hands as he held it to his ear.

Josh picked up on the third ring.

“…Hey?”

One word was a sucker punch to the gut and Tyler was _speechless._ He clamped a trembling hand over his mouth, suppressing an initial gasp.

“…Uh, who is this? Hello?”

Josh’s voice was raw with tiredness. Overwork, Tyler guessed. Removing his hand, his mouth opened. It opened, but his throat wasn’t working and his tongue was limp and _what do you say to the person you love after a year of radio silence?_ Something about this payphone, he prayed to God, gave him the courage to speak.

“It takes a bit more,” his lips trembled and he sounded small and pathetic even to himself.

A moment of silence.

“…Wai- _Tyler,_ I-“

Tyler’s heart shot to his head until both were pounding at the sound of his name from those lips, and _was that his own voice rising?_

“Don’t you start. Don’t you _dare._ ”

“My gosh, Ty, I'm so-"

"It takes a bit more than you, Josh."

“..More- more than w-what? Tyler, sweetheart, I,”

“ _Don’t_ call me that. It takes more than you to break me. Though you came close."

The worst part of this all is that Tyler knew him well enough to picture exactly what he’d be doing on the other end of that phone line. Pacing, or sitting down, either way Josh would be tugging at the ends of that sunshine hair until brittle strands broke away from his scalp.

This was a mistake, why did Tyler call, why did he leave his apartment at this hour, why did he find this stupid payphone (he punctuated this with a kick) and call his stupid number and-

“I…I still love you, you know?”

Tyler hung up.

He didn’t want to know.  


End file.
